Starting Over... Again

I lost weight last year.  A good bit.  I started running and began to feel strong and confident.  But sadly, I let myself gain most of it back.  And with the weight gain, the lack of confidence and discouragement returned as well.

It is hard to admit that to myself or to anyone else.  Though the words aren't easy to say I must face the fact that I am almost right back where I started.  I try to console myself.  I look in the mirror and I say to myself that it isn't that much.  I'm not that big.  I don't look that bad.  I'm not out of control.   

But I am fooling myself.  The truth is I haven't committed myself to exercising at all lately or eating healthy.  Just hit or miss.  Whatever I feel like at the time.   Just a reaction to each day. 

Today I'm climbing back up.  It won't be easy but I liked feeling strong and confident.  I liked getting thinner, healthier, and more self controlled.  I must remember those feelings and not the discouraging ones I feel now.

Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Controlling our thoughts is so important to our wellbeing.  Satan would love nothing more than to continue to have us dwell on the negative.  The what ifs, the can't dos, the maybes.  But I suggest we leave these thoughts behind and concentrate on the positive things in our lives. 

I might not be able to control what goes on in the world around me.  But I can certainly control my life.  Right now.  And now I choose to take control of my life once again.  I choose to think thoughts that will propel me forward and not punch me in the stomach and push me backward. 

Today I will begin again.  Will you join me?

Guard Your Heart

Divorce can really turn our world upside down.

It's been almost two years.  Two long painful, heartbreaking, years of seeking God, praying, begging, weeping, crying, wrestling with God.

Proverbs 4:23 says above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. 

I did not guard my heart. 
He did not guard his heart. 
We let our hearts be taken captive.

Anger, bitterness, selfishness, pride and resentment began to take root in our hearts until the love that we once felt had been overtaken by the weeds.

Don't let your guard down. 

Fall on your face before the Lord. 
Cry out to the Lord. 

Pray Psalm 51 over and over again until you get it right. 
Until you find peace. 
Until the love returns. 
Until you guard your heart.

Have mercy on me Lord. 
In your unfailing love, have mercy on me.
Take away my sin because of your great compassion for me. 

Wash me. 
Cleanse me.   

I have sinned against you.  

Cleanse me and I will be clean.  Wash me and I will be whiter than snow. 
Let me hear from you joy and gladness.

Create in me a clean heart. 
Renew a right spirit in me. 
Please God do not turn your back on me. 
Do not take your Holy Spirit from me. 

Restore to me the joy of my salvation. 
Grant me a willing spirit to continue.

My lips will then sing your praise. 

This is the starting point.
The beginning of your new life.
And it could be the beginning of the resurrection of your marriage.

You have to want it.
You have to passionately want it.
You have to FOCUS on God and not yourself.
You have to set your mind and take your stand.

Forgive.
Obey.
Commit.
Understand.
Surrender.

Forgive your spouse.  He is not the enemy. Satan is the enemy.  Your spouse is just being used by Satan.  Forgive him for everything.  Let it go.  Remember it no more.   It will do neither of you any good to hold on.

Obey God.  Let His love fill your heart to overflowing.  Walk in His path.  The straight and the narrow.
He hates divorce.  Malachi says so.  Don't let that become an option.  Ever.

Commit yourself to your marriage vows.  Reread them.  They are strong words.  Not to be taken lightly.  Commit yourself to your spouse. To loving them unconditionally as Christ loved us. 
Commit yourself to God.  To follow Him at all costs.  Let Him turn your world upside down.

Understand the enemy.  Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy.  That is what he is doing in your marriage.  You are blinded by the enemy.  Understand that this is a spiritual battle.  Fight it on your knees.  Do not ask others their opinion but seek God only.

Surrender your will to God's will.  Surrender your heart to God's love.  Surrender your circumstances to God.  Trust in Him.  Trust in His character.  He never changes. No matter what we do.  He never changes.  He will be our strength.  He will be our guide. 

Above all else,  guard your heart.  For it is the wellspring of life.